Tuesday, October 10, 2006

LESSON FROM MOTHER THERESA

Mother Theresa and her Sisters of Charity worked with the abandoned people in Calcutta, India. They would go about the city and bring the sick and dying from the streets of Calcutta and take care of them in a Hospital run by the sisters. Someone asked Mother Theresa, “How can you pick up these wretched dying people, probably diseased and foul smelling, and into your care?” Her answer was, “Because I see the face of Jesus Christ in them”.

Helen was a middle aged woman at Southern Michigan Prison Hospital. Helen had end-stage liver disease. Many alcoholics eventually get this liver disease. Her stomach was bloated. She was constantly in severe pain. She was in jail for a botched bank robbery where some woman ended up being murdered. She and her son were part of the robbery scheme.

“I don’t have much time left. I now very often pray. I’m a Baptist. A long time ago I wanted to convert to Catholicism. But my mother and others strongly objected to my possible conversion. Right now the frequent pains I am having are my main concern. I wish God would have me die. I want to die at times except that I am concerned what happens after death.” “Acceptance of your pain is all you can do now, Helen. God realizes this. But He is not the cause of your sickness.” “I know that”, she said. “I have made so many bad decisions in my life.” I answered, “That’s past now, Helen. It is very important for you not to lose faith in Him.” Helen responded, “Please pray for me.”

“Helen, are you at peace with yourself? Do you carry any anger at anyone?” “I still cannot forgive my son”, Helen said. “My son turned state’s evidence against me.” Helen claims her son was lying to the courts to save himself. The son got a lesser sentence. “I don’t know if I want to see my son, if he came to see me. Yes, I now forgive him but I cannot forget” “Not forgetting has no bearing on your forgiveness, unless your thoughts are still hateful to what he has done to you, Helen. If he were here right now and he wanted to see you here now at this hospital, would you see him, Helen?” “I will have to think about it” Meaning, she has not totally forgiven him. “I am afraid of him. I don’t think he wants to see me anyway. I am in considerable pain. I know I am dying.”

Many times thereafter on my subsequent visits we talked about the act of forgiveness. “I forgive him and wish no malice towards him. The last I heard about him is that he tried to commit suicide in the prison he is in.” Helen told me she had another son who, as a boy was struck by lightning and died. She seemed to imply he was the good son. “This may be rush judgment on my part, but you describe your two sons as sort of like Abel and Cain in the Bible.”

“I pray very often now. I have no malice to anyone. You taught me this prayer, ”Lord remember me when I come into Your kingdom. I have said that so many times, God must have been tired hearing me say this. I am really tired of living. I wish He would take me. Examining my life and others I associated with, I really would like to go. I am prepared. I am not depressed. In my life I have known four people who committed suicide. But I do not want to go that way, although I am prepared to go. I would like to be with God in heaven.”

According to Dr. Kubler-Ross, on the five stages of dying, I believe Helen was on this final stage, Acceptance. No denial, no anger, no bargaining or depression, and finally acceptance.

Many of these prisoners are still suspicious of why I come to see them. A few openly ask me if I then report to the prison officials and tell them what I found out about these prisoners I talk to. I sensed these feelings on Helen in one of my visits. On this visit she looked at me kind of suspiciously and asked, “Why do you come to visit me?”. And so I remembered the words of Mother Theresa and I said to her, “I am here because I see Jesus Christ in you.” Helen did not answer me. She cried.

Going back to at the parking lot where my car was, I was chuckling and surprised at myself. How did I ever think of Mother Theresa and those words to say to Helen.

Miraculously, Helen had considerable improvement in her medical condition. “I am better now than when I entered the hospital. At that time the doctors gave me only a few weeks to live. Now, I may return to the Cell Block. I have sisters (fellow prisoners) in this Cell Block I would like to help. They seem desperate and lost.” “God still has plans on your life”. I said, “Don’t rush it. Let God decide when, on your dying.” “ My Parole Board has turned down my Medical Release petition. This does not upset me. I have already come to this stage of acceptance. If I leave this hospital and go back to the Cell Block, I would like to be an encouragement to my sisters in this Block. I need God to guide me.” “That’s true, Helen. Try to believe what makes sense to you. You don’t need to be in a formalized religion or inside a church for God to let you know what to do. Look within yourself, Helen. Remember these words from the Bible, ‘The temple of God is within you’.”

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

I ONCE WAS LOST, BUT NOW AM FOUND - UPDATE

I was at the Prison Hospital today, next to the Specialty Clinic. At the waiting room, there was a group of prisoners hoping to see a doctor for what currently ails them or for a regular check up on their progress back to health. “Hey, Tony!” someone shouted. “Remember me?” It was Mr. B and he was smiling.

“You look good Mr. B.”. He replied, “They took me off the feeding tube a long time ago. Now I eat regular normal meals.” “You look normal and are also walking straight. Even your speech is not slurred as before. What happened?”

“I am recovered, Tony. I don’t believe I have cancer anymore.” “Looks like it. Three or four years ago, after your throat cancer operation, the doctors gave you only three to four months to live. I remember, especially when you refused any more chemo treatments immediately after your operation.”

“I am still very involved in my spirituality and say my prayers all the time.” Finally as we parted, he took both my hands and said, “It is good to see you, Tony.”

Mr. B made my day.